words...

Growing

I'm expanding my efforts to become invisible.
This sort of process is very frightening, however, and so
I'm dropping little bits of myself behind as I go
A shimmering trail of breadcrumbs I hope the birds will make disappear.

I can't remember your name anymore. I almost wish I could
The almost hurts more than it should.
Some details are important but my perspective is gone.

I still breathe in and out deliberately.
I still think irrationally helplessly.
I still long for breathtaking creation.
I still need as much as ever.

I'm giving up all these things that are bad for me.
Or, at least, I'm trying with every bit of will power I have
Admitting a significant weakness.
So instead I'm making those things invisible along with me
Hoping to make it go away with a graceful gesture.

I can't remember your voice anymore. I almost wish I could
The almost hurts more than it should.
The details are important but my perspective is gone.

I don't bleed the way I used too, bright red.
I don't beg for release violently.
I don't believe in my own romanticism.
I still need as much as ever.

Dreaming Something Else

I often dream of the end of the world.
Sometimes it's the whole world as we know it. I lose the people I love,
The conveniences of life, the casual acceptance of existence.
Natural disasters, military armaments, leadership failures - dreams are haunted with such things at the end of the world.

Sometimes it's just my own world that I know. The losses are the same.
The people I love. The convenience of life, the acceptance of my existence.
My mind implodes. I give in to the drop off the edge. I let go.

I've embraced a lifestyle of practicality while seeking a romantic dream. The convoluted and comprehensive ties between the two keep me engaged.
I think I'd rather be a romantic in everything I do, but I suspect I couldn't let go of the tragedy.