Sunday, August 20, 2006

My daughter has caught a cold...

My Apologies


I spent today wanting to hold you, to offer you that comfort you found only in my arms, to quiet that incessant cry, to just love you
But
Also to walk away from all of your need, to lose your cry in my own necessities, to let someone else take your responsibility.
And so I held you; and so I walked away.


I am not sure that I can ever be enough, give enough, love enough for you. On the bad days it feels like rampant failure.
When you gaze at me with such trust there's an echo of my head that lectures me on being better, being more.
I don't deserve that trust you hold so casually.


On the good days I can hold you close and chase away your ills.
And I can almost believe that I have been trustworthy enough -
Or that if I have not, you will forgive me.

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