Things I Would Like to Say

If I could tell you anything right now it would be that I love you still
And
Always
Forever until I come to my end and
Still even then, I will be in love.

In this darkness this love is a beacon,
It is a drumbeat,
It is a call to the dawn
And it echoes in my head, competing with all the chaos.

If I could tell you anything right now it would be how much I treasure you
For constantly forgiving,
Trusting,
Loving me
Through.

In this darkness this forgiveness is a blessing,
It is a balm,
It is a respite from my own self
And it echoes in my soul, competing with all the stillness.

If I could tell you anything right now it would be that I am so afraid of losing my way,
Of being lost in this waiting place,
And that I do not think I can give you what you need.

In this darkness this fear is crippling.

We've walked a  long journey together and each step has been an adventure
Feeling heartbreak over joy, sensing loss among the gains, seeing an end at every beginning
And all those things in the small spaces between all the big buildings.
So many things change and so many stay the same and the only true constant above it all is how deeply in love I am.