The Pendulum

And all the sudden the balance in my brain tips precariously the wrong way and I instantly become a liar and a fraud.
Though it isn't sudden, I've been fighting for days, weeks, years, forever to feel the truth of reality.
Reality hurts, cuts more deeply than any knife I've ever wielded against myself, and I bleed.
There is no relief.
I tried to warn everyone, or at least those that matter the most to me,
I cried out in fear.
Love and reassurance have lost their power as I become a liar.
I cannot or do not know where I am in this whirlwind and
Am so horribly bereft at being caught again.