Challenging Things

I have let go of all of this, or I thought I had, and now it is swirling all around me in a dizzying display of light, trying to lure me in, telling lies.
I am determined to keep my hands open, to turn away towards the truth, to finally be divested and free.
It is so much harder than I had expected.
The steps forward are mounting and taken in full they are overwhelming.
I made a promise.
I've lied to myself over and over, cursed my own deceit. I have created whole fictions from kernels of reality until I can't tell the difference for myself anymore.
Until the puppetry falls to the floor and the disaster is revealed.
The truth is like the wind, teasing and pulling, capable of more than I can imagine
But for now I'm stuck in the light of these lies, waiting for them to torment someone else willing to pick them up and carry them forward.